Scream as much as you want. Nothing will make you feel better about yourself and the situation until you find a way to heal yourself.

Can I ask - well I'm going to - Why did you expect him to change? Is it something that has to happen? Are you holding him to 'ransom' by agreeing to stay with him?

I'm not trying to be harsh but it is something my T said to me when Mark made moves to get back with me... What would the outcome be, would I ever trust him again, would I make his life hell because I would want to know where he was at ALL moments of time..

Trust is something that you have to open up your heart to give, it's not something to be bought, earnt or given by the other person, it has to come from within yourself.

I do wish you every luck in the world for this to work out the way that you want it too xxx