spwhite..... there is one thing that I feel (and I may be wrong, wouldn't be the first time) that may have been overlooked. You have said that you are in it for the long haul, which is admirable as I am in semi-similar situation. But what crosses me wrong is that the way you write, you are putting all of your hope into counseling and it making things better and you can go on about life like it was before.... One question I would ask you to think about now instead of later is this...

What will you do if the counseling doesn't change anything or she decides she doesn't want counseling? Will you still stay with her and never get married as in Rhiannon's case or is marriage a must for you that you can not accept going without? I don't want to scare you off, but if you are going to say that you are dedicated and will be there for her, that includes if things get worse or stay the same, not just if they get better....

I hope that you do not take offense and that you have already thought and came to your decision on this. As someone in a similar position as you, I would hate for you to tell her you will always be there, and then decide it is just too hard....