Hello, Wantabenormal. In my view, for you to resolve your concerns will take a lot of hard work and trial and error. Perhaps these questions may help you begin the process.

1. What do you mean by normal? A definition of normal:

adjective: being approximately average or within certain limits in e.g. intelligence and development ("A perfectly normal child")

2. Do you know someone you would like to pattern yourself after? If so, what makes this person "normal"?

3. Since you do not believe you are normal, how do you define abnormal? A definition: not usual or typical, especially in a way that is worrying or that shows there may be something wrong or harmful.

4. If a person has a mental illness, is that person abnormal? Perhaps you believe a person may be normal despite a mental illness?

5. What about you do you believe is abnormal?

6. Do you believe a person may be both normal and unique? We each have life experiences like no other which influences what we believe and how we act. Our talents and peccadilloes are our own.

7. Are you willing to forgo your uniqueness to be your perception of normal?

8. What are your values? Perhaps a list might help: http://www.selfcounseling.com/help/p...nalvalues.html

9. Have you thought about how you might incorporate what you value into your life? The idea, of course, is to experience more of what you value, and less of what you perceive as less important.

10. How much do you attribute the way you view yourself to a physical or mental illness or condition?

11. Are there steps you may take to ameliorate the affect of a mental or physical condition?

12. Are there actions (exercise or therapy, for example) you could be doing you already know would make your life better? If so, do you know why you are not doing these things?

13. Are there other things you suspect might make you life more meaningful? If so, is there a reason you have not engaged in doing them?

This list is not intended to be exhaustive. No doubt the list is over or under inclusive. Even so, the questions should get you thinking. Your posts in this thread are helpful too. They discuss to an extent your thoughts about what you value and more.

A meaningful life is not something that simply happens. We have choices to make to create the life we value.

Good luck.