have you ever thought about this...if you were to run away, once you stopped, there you would be. u'd still have YOU with you!!!
yes change is difficult and scary but based on how miserable/sad you are now, wouldn't change be a good thing? it might be worth the effort to see. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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