omgoodness! Dearest dps, I think I responded to this before I read it. I made a post about something similar but it was for all of us who feel this way. To let everyone know that they are supported in a way that they don't have to worry about.

You have been through so much and I know how the body aches with the memories and the pain of them.

Be just who you are and who you are developing to be. It isn't always just about the journey....it is about the roads we take and the outcome. You are doing ok, you may not realise it but from the first post of yours I read you have developed and made changes. Do this at your own pace and when you are ready, take the next step. Only you can walk your journey, only you can live your life; we can walk with you, behind you or in front of you if you like. All of the decisions now are yours,

Safest gentle hugs and safest unconditional love

Rhiannon