Men don't like to guess...I am a woman...but was raised as a man.....

Men prefer to be told right out....examples would be:
I want a hug because I am sad....I need to talk to a professional about my problems that I can not resolve by myself.
I love you and I know you are upset with me because I have a lot of unresolved issues, just having you be here when I need a hug or a kind word would help me so much.

Simplicity is the key.

When I'm in severe pain (I have alot of medical issues as well as depression, etc.) My dear husband didn't always know what he could do to stop my pain and that scared him, so he would shy away. I told him just being here for me, holding my hand gently, until the pain stopped.
The same goes in reverse (he suffers from back spasms). I can't make his pain go away, but just being there and patiently (and quietly) by him until his pain eases up, means alot to him.
We have been together for a very long time. We made several rules years ago which we still live by to this day.
No lying.
No beating.
No cheating.
No volunteering each other to do things for others.
To always be honest (even if it is brutely honest).
We tell each other everything, no matter how bad it may hurt, we get it out on the table (per se) then discuss our options of how to deal with the situation. To this day we are still best friends as well as life partners.

Sit down...and say you are sorry...and would like to start anew...by trying to be more direct, and not demanding but asking.....

Maybe his anger is a sign of fear...Men sometimes act out in anger when they are afraid...It is natural for them to react that way.....

I am not a professional by any means...I can only tell you what I know from personal experience. And a marriage counciler is always a good idea.

If you have any questions you can PM me....best of Luck...hope things improve for you and your husband.