I don't feel like you're "controlling" per se. Some times 2 people can be awesome separately and you put them together and it's like a tornado. Sometimes that works but usually it doesn't.

I'll admit that I never really understood the whole being friends after a break up thing. You broke up for a reason right? Being friends will only make it more difficult for the both of you. I'm friends with an ex on facebook now and that took about 5 years. And we broke up kind of in the same situation as you. I was with a guy who abused me and was constantly berating him. I knew it was best for both of us to move on even though we still loved each other. We tried to be friends but that just didn't work. So even though I will always care about him, it was better for the both of us that we broke it off.

I also agree that if she really wanted to change she would surround herself with people that aren't bad influences. But also, you don't really have any right to tell her who she can and can't hang out with; whether you're dating or not. I may not like all my boyfriends friends, but I can't tell him to not be friends with them. There is a friend of mine that my boyfriend thinks is a total slut (to be perfectly honest) but he trusts me enough to know I would never do anything to compromise our relationship. If you are still worried then maybe she isn't the only one with trust issues?

In the situation with my friend. She is the one picking up guys and my boyfriend knows I'm the DD making sure she is safe and not allowing her to go home drunk with random dudes. If he ever accused me of anything based on the people I hang out with, we wouldn't be together. I think that maybe you should focus on the insecurities causing you to feel this way and not focus on hers. She did open up about it and understands that she does these things. That's gotta say something.