((((((((dawnhopeful)))))))))

It can be a very long, frustrating process of finding a medication and dosage that works for you, but I'm glad you're forging ahead! Is your husband a psychiatrist or other mental health professional? Because if he isn't, I would stick to my doctor's advice over his. And even if he IS a mental health professional, it's possible that he has a personal bias about your condition, so he might not be the best source of advice anyway. I'm sure he cares about you and is just trying to help, but you may need to steer clear of anyone's advice on the matter but your doctor and/or therapist if you have one. If you don't have a therapist, have you considered therapy? It might help to talk out some of the things you've been feeling, I know it did for me. Drugs by themselves often aren't enough to combat depression. From my experience, the medication gave me just enough of a boost to start working on myself and climbing out of the hole the depression had put me in. I couldn't have done it without the meds, but the meds were just PART of the treatment for me.

As for whether you're "really depressed or not", I've wondered that about myself quite a lot. But I now have two doctors, two therapists and one psychologist who have confirmed the diagnosis -- the way I see it is that many professionals can't be wrong, no matter how much doubt I have on the subject. Part of the lie the depression told me was that I was not sick, I was just naturally weak-willed and lazy and pathetic, and that I was using the depression as an excuse to hide what a truly horrible person I was. It takes a lot to combat thoughts like that, which is why it's important to keep up a strong support network of loved ones and professionals. I hope that your support network helps you get through this difficult time, and if you don't feel like it is ... add to it. See another doctor or counsellor, talk to a friend or religious leader or family member, or just keep posting here. Whatever you do, don't forget that you're not alone and you can get through this!