I think you could stop spinning your wheels on this by posting support to others IN HERE and moving on..hard as it may be...Your next block at pb will be higher that is how they do it. They have a post up on Admin I think its dated Oct 5th you were active in it..where some pbc's will end in a total block..I think this could be a great learning experience for you on how not to trigger. Many have posted on suicide on PB but your posts stand out for a reason and get you blocked....learn why while you cannot post...Others on This site have problems right now and may be able to use your support..You cannot get Dt Bob to take it back.....Youre FRIENDS could come here to talk to you but have not yet ....why? If you have their addresses by all means write them ...BUT even more so..what are YOUR other issues in your non-board? Are you avoiding them or playing them out by this as you say compulsion? Do not answer me this is just some food for thought.