My thoughts on this...
In some cases, working toward forgiveness is appropriate, if re-establishing the relationship would be beneficial to the hurt person. i.e. a friend does something hurtful... in the long run one may decide that the benefit of being friends with that person is so great that it is worthwhile to forgive that person of the incident.
But in some cases, forgiveness isn't about the relationship at all, it is about the hurt person being able to move on with their life. And in those cases, "forgiveness" isn't always the best route, it might just be "closure" or trying to "forget but not forgive" (and by "forget" I mean no longer be obsessed with the hurtful behavior... I wouldn't expect one to ever truly forget).
So in that sense, I think point number 2 on the list is relevant... because wanting revenge on the offender is will take a lot of one's own energy, and it is a negative energy. If one can find a way to move past it (and I mean a theraputical way to achieve closure... not just "pretending it never happened") then one can be set free of the bad aspects of that anger and begin to rebuild a healthier life for themselves. But like I said, that doesn't necessarily involve "forgiveness", just some method of moving past the event.
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-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- www.idexter.com
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