Yes! Exactly. That is the essence of the part that cannot be conveyed to those that haven't had their rational voice taken over, isn't it? It's almost a visual for me it's so palpable. Like...there is this little voice that tries like hell to reason with an overwhelming force constantly deriding and having an extreme and opposite response to _every single point_ the little voice is trying to make. Its arguments seem sooooo very very logical as it takes on a life of its own. The little voice just gets squashed and squashed relentlessly till it either can't be heard at all, or comes precariously close. Come to think of it, that's a biggie that's impossible to convey as well. It's something that can only be experienced to understand just how powerful and engulfing it can be.

That's why here to get this out. Couldn't bear to attempt to do so among (ooooh, this phrase just hit me...it sounds terrible, but it's actually true, so here goes...) the blissfully ignorant. One of the reasons it hits so hard is knowing just how very easily it could have been me. How could one express that to the blissfully ignorant? At least without getting pooh poohed, "oh, don't talk like that..." or somehow trying to verbally separate you as oh-so-different from the one who lost the fight. No, not so different at all. The pain of it hits us differently I think. Despite being upset and crying like anyone would, it feels like sometimes people (ie. the blissfully ignorant) think that (oh, how to phrase this?) I take such things too lackadaisically. Why? Because I just can't rail against it with the standard responses. No can do. Cannot blame the victim. They lost the fight. Choice? Yes, there is always choice. BUT, it can become so that it feels nearly invisible to the point where 'choice' seems not quite the right word. This may seem a horrible thing to say, but it's not fatalistic. It's not accepting. It's understanding. What it all comes down to is that someone lost the fight. That is 'all' and yet that is everything.

Like anyone, I've been lamenting not making a post I knew damn well I should have. I heard her and knew. Just knew. And still failed to do so. Her post was a very echo of my own thoughts from less than a year ago. Something I've not admitted to anyone. It was so damn close to the marrow. I was lucky, she was not. Thinker22 is right in what she says in the other thread. We can only try. Ultimately, we don't have the fail-safe power to save.

Damn. Wish we did though.