welcome insomniacfili . I know the feeling of people just turning their back. it happened to me years ago that my family did that. I think they just were not strong enough to stand by me when times were hard with depression. but they came back into my life. It wasnt that they did not love me. It was that they were not very strong. They did not have their own inner resources.

I had to find a therapist. I hope that you are able to do that. Please use this community as a place to be heard, to find comfort and support. You will find lots of people here who care lots. Are you in therapy? And are you on medication for the depression? Safe hugs for you ((((( insomniacfili))))))