Sounds like the med is worse than the original problem? I'd taper off, even if I had to wait until the new year to try something else. I'd rather be depressed than losing friends and pissing off girlfriends :-)

I don't know that he's "hiding" behind the nervous/anxious=anger; do you know his "range" of emotions, has he shown them in the past? I'd make something visual for myself, a picture board or something that listed different emotions and a scene from my own life (photograph of an event?) that would remind me of that emotion and carry around some of the good ones (calm, pleasant, relaxing vacation photo?), maybe make copies/laminate, and carry them around with me? I do that sometimes; have "special" rocks and worry stones, touchstones of all sorts I can carry with me to distract or calm/comfort me.