It is hard to loose these things you have worked so hard to acquire. But it is not just you, you are not the only person going through this. My family is also. Sounds like you are taking it it one day at a time...you have to. If you look to far in the future it can be overwhelming. I hope it gets better for you. Never thought this country would be in such bad shape, but honestly it is not your fault or my fault. So many are just trying to survive this. Sometimes it helps to know you are not alone.