I'm ashamed and embarrassed about the things we talked about today. I hate going in there and having to show all my dirty, horrible insides to T. I don't think I can keep doing this. Right now, in this moment, I want to be done with T. I think I can go on, I can function, without her and this dismantling of my inner self is horrible. I don't even know if I CAN function, attend school and be a mother to my 4 kids, and do this work.

This feels so much worse than I thought it would. I want to be done. I am almost overcome with the desire to call T and cancel for next week, to say thank you and I love you and be done. Just...done.