I've recently ended several relationships with others that had been one sided for so long. That I finally realized it was my fantasy that it was a equal or give and take relationship.

But, I seriously feel like I just don't fit in

Like I just don't get it

Everybody has their own life's, routines, schedules, moods.

I know I am especially moody.

Today I feel that I just can't get along with anyone. That I'm fed up with everything. I just don't get it.

I'm even angry about it.

Sometimes I'm told I said a certain thing or behaved a certain way and I don't remember.

Also others will tell me their stuff and I forget - SO it's only right that I would feel the brush off from them.

I don't remember things so well. I get all taken up in emotional turmoil about the littlest things and do the black and white thinking.

All or nothing.

I end up with nothing.

Yet, I did it!

I know that I am emotionally unstable most of the time.
I trigger easily.
I then freeze up and zombie. Like my mouth can't even move.

This is not a pity thing. I'm just writing because I really just don't know what the heck to do or say or not say or not do, or when or what, how, why -

It's too much.

And yet I've been saying I like me...ha ha ha - Well I do, but I'm a mess!