I was only able to sleep a couple hours, I've been up since midnight. Sleep deprivation is just another layer to the mess, makes everything harder. I don't even know what I want or need right now. If I could figure out what I need then maybe I could figure out how to get that need met.

I halfway want T to call me back and halfway don't. I don't know if I'll answer if she does call. I just don't know what will help at this point, I know what will help me feel better in the moment but nothing without negative repercussions. Just trying to stay safe I guess.