(((((((((((Zoo))))))))))))
I hope, SO MUCH, that today feels a little better.
When I was heavy heavy in the CSA stuff, the day/night after session were THE WORST. By far. And it took so much work to get out of that place..but looking back, I think being in that place is part of what led to the healing. I had to be in ALL of that yuck and find out that life would go on, and that I would find a way to survive and be okay. I spent so many years, including the years when it was happening, just dissociating, pushing it away, "pretending"...when I made it real, it HURT, and just like you, I reallllllllly didn't know if I could be a mom, function in the world,etc. But I did. And doing it showed me I CAN do it. It just sucked SO MUCH in the meantime.
I'm back in some different trauma stuff with T now. It's still really awful during session, but when I come home, I'm OKAY. There's some residual yuck, but not like before. And the next day...I'm OKAY.
We learn that we are okay. The crappy thing is that it takes time. You're doing it. I wish you didn't have to do it, but you ARE doing it.
Be gentle with you, sweet zoo


