When my boyfriend broke up with me I felt disjointed like I was no longer a complete person. I mean this was someone to whom I had given everything I had to give. All I wanted to do was curl up in a little ball and hibernate, the pain was too much to take. I guess that's normal when you love someone and lose them.
But the pain is gradually subsiding as I am sure it will with you. Time heals all broken hearts, the old saying goes. I am sure she still cares about you, but it is not easy sitting by and watching the person you love hurt themselves. Give her time and space and who knows maybe she will come back to you. If fate decrees otherwise, maybe this is a sign that you need to take care of yourself first and find out who you really are, before you can be ready for a relationship.