((((((((((((((((((((( dear Peaches )))))))))))))))))))))))))

it's a perfectly good question. I am so sorry to hear all this pain in you.

Of all the zillions of people on PC I am probably the last one to talk about trust at all. But here is what came to mind when I read your post.

I am blessed to know a wonderful man. We're the same age but that's where the similarity ends. I admire him greatly. He was a Green Beret so he is unusually wise and brave. He is patient and kindly; he has a beautiful, strong faith; is a devoted husband and father. It has taken me about 20 years to trust him as a friend, but I do trust him.

He said to me once, "I have been told that I don't trust people. but I do trust people; I trust them to be what they show themselves to be, every day, day in and day out." Simple advice but rather profound. I hope so much that it helps you.

Oh - and also this: if you are wanting to open up to yur T this way, I think you can do it eventually - but in your own time. In the meantime maybe you could talk to T about the fears you have of eventual termination etc, and maybe fear can change to resolution, one way or another. Please take your time. You don't have to take any scary plunges. hugs to you