so, I got an email from my mother this morning. I haven't heard from her directly in close to 2 years. I won't/can't go into all the background, but I'll just say she's toxic. She's planning on coming to visit my kids this weekend, and some of you may recall that her visits always kind of send me into a bad place.

this is just so, so not what I needed today. Haven't heard back from my T, don't feel really comfortable calling her again although I WANT to tell her about the email and ask her what the hell I should do now.

what a mess everything has become all of a sudden. ugh.

just came back to add some more because this is really bugging me. I'm kind of...angry? about the timing. What the...why does my mom have to come poke me on the single hardest day I've had in MONTHS? Does she have some spidey sense that gets tingling when I'm vulnerable? This just blows. I'm frustrated and perplexed.

especially since my very first thought, before I even read the email, was to pick up the phone and call her. My inner child was definitely in charge in that moment, lol.