Madisgram gave very helpful advice.

I often find myself doing similar things to catch my cool.

For me, certain people are very close to my limit before they even speak (like my mom). A frequent consequence of that was very thick tension between us, without words spoke. One of us would ask a simple question, like, "Are you having supper with us?" and the other would pounce and shred!

Now, I frequently avoid seeing or talking with family (mostly my mom though, she's the core). When I do see family, I stay for a short time. A couple of hours ~ maximum! I see them maybe once every couple of months. I also don't talk about anything emotional with family. My conversations with them are very brief, light, and insignificant. This has given me the space that I needed to become a little more comfortable spending time with family.

Perhaps, as time passes, and I get better things will slowly become more "real". I am holding tightly onto moving very slowly though.

You may need to take that space between yourself and a few other people until you gain a better sense of emotional control. Take it slowly ~ and avoid the urge/s to bolt or fight. If you can only hold yourself back for a minute or two, your visits are going to have to be very limited. I also recommend that you actively work through the emotions that you find yourself fighting. Chances are, the anger is secondary to a fragile initial emotion. The anger quickly consumes you ~ but the core issue hasn't even been touched, through work.

Best wishes to you!