Today my mother called my aunt saying that she wished I would forgive her, cause she did nothing wrong (apparently verbal, physical and ignoring sexual, abuse is nothing to her) and that I was preventing my Dad and her from getting back together. She said my Dad wanted her and everything.

She's lying, so horribly. She has a boyfriend and she's always constantly trying to get back with my Dad, whom she bad mouths, steals from, and cheats on. She has gotten back together with my Dad at least 5 times in 15 years and it always ends in her cheating.. but now she's blaming it all on me. Yes I don't want her back here, yes when I was 12 I did put up a fight to prevent my parents from getting back together, but the whole situation traumatized me and since then I've been depressed. I protect my family from her, she neglected and starved my brother, she's stolen money from me before when I was 9. When she lives here she complains that we're all assholes to her, and she wishes she could go back to her boyfriends..

I hate her, I hate my mother so much. After learning what she said I wanted my Dad to officially divorce her that minute and I wanted some sort of court order to prevent her from ever contacting me again. I want her gone, I would even move out of the country to stop talking to her.. but.. I'm still in touch with her family and she talks to them, she goes to their birthday parties and we cannot prevent her from seeing my brother at this time..

I need help.. as much as I hate her and as much as it made me so mad.. learning that she's (again) lying about me, stabbing me in the back to justify her reasons.. it hurt, it picked at a healing scab protecting that big hole in my heart, and now it's open and bleeding. I'm hurt again and I cried. I can't take it. I'm 15, she's like 37 why.. why does she have to do this to me? I'm her daughter.. Before she's called me a ***** to her family, said i was a spoiled brat who demanded 300 dollars out of her every month. This isn't true, I don't expect anything from her, all I ever wanted was for her to either love me like a mother should, or leave me alone. I'm tired of her lies, I'm tired of hearing about her, seeing her, being related to her, I hate the fact that half of me is her.. It makes me wanna die..

What do I do.. I can't get away from her, I can never. Like I said she has rights to see my brother who is 9 in october, she is on good terms with SOME of my family as am I, my dad cannot at this time afford a divorce.. once Children's services said that maybe she shouldn't be aloud to see us anymore, but my Dad advised against it thinking that we needed our mother.. maybe my brother does (though he barely even mentions her or remembers her besides the one time she calls every 6 months) but i don;' and her presence hurts me..

I need help.. I'm sorry it's long.. but.. I'm suffering.. I've been trying so hard to get out of this depression.. trying so hard to stop skipping school, to become something that my dad can be proud of.. but today she just pushed me back to the bottom of that hole again.. no she didn't only push she took a knife, stabbed me, dug the hole deeper and chained me to the bottom..

What do I do..?