Was supposed to have an app with T this afternoon, but came up with a million excuses to cancel.
I have a LOT of emotions running through me, and think it'll be a bit of waste of time. To clarify: I have a lot of emotions, but no clear issues.
I sms'd her on Tues because I was REALLY depressed and could not see clearly. I was on the borderline of cashing out and I just needed someone to help me.

So this was the last perception she had. Now I feel like I'm at least able to swim - hence I feel like a fraud. As time goes by, I am actually to embarrassed to see her face to face. Because one day I NEED her to help me get out of this hole, but we just cannot set up an appointment quickly enough, and when I see her 2 days later, I appear "Fine".

I cannot carry on like this...!