not sure where you picked up in my post that i thought it was easy? I think I mentioned unless one is ready then there is no change. But I've learnt engaging or enabling the "drama" isn't helpful. My post was just self reflection on how I oNce was, and how I couldnt see it, it was or has been only through therapy that I have moved from it, and yes of course there are frustrations around this sort of behaviour, not excluding sometimes frustrations at ourselfs.