MMF,

A few thoughts/observations re your comments:

It occurs to me that a lot can happen in 16 years. Your projections re' her reactions 16 years from now (assuming you are still married and serve her with papers) may be different by then. As an outsider, your description sounds to me like a vengeful fantasy/daydream... From this and your previous posts, it is pretty apparent that you have a lot of anger within you. Can you bear to be this angry for the next 16 years? Have you thought about how much energy it takes from you to keep this anger going? How much space it takes up in your head? If you can work on your own anger, you may find more peace over time and ability to endure her rages. It also may have an effect on her rages. Friendships with people who support you can help on this, but you might want to consider other avenues as well...therapy, meditation, horseback riding lessons, tai chi, therapy, zen studies, a painting class, therapy... Prolonged anger also causes myriad health problems. Anger turned inward can cause depression.

Speaking of depression, it sounds as though you certainly try to pitch in and help your wife around the house and with the kids. However, outside circumstances being as good as they are for her (in your judgment) are not necessarily proven safeguards against depression. Depression comes for lots of reasons, and for none at all. I guess I am trying to say that you giving her what you think that she wants and what you say she says that she wants does not give you permission now or ever to say that she has no reason to be depressed.

I know she is hurting you. I can feel the anger you are feeling. I don't know your situation because I'm only hearing one side and it is not my place here to judge or to try to solve your dilemma. However, if there is no other side to this story, then I feel sorry for your wife. She must have some real torments within her is she is having such emotional turmoil and feeling so much misery. I hope she can get help.

Your statement(s) about meeting the demands your wife has made strikes me as a little cold -- as though you two have some contract written in the air somewhere. Intimate relationships can't work or survive; warmth, intimacy and trust cannot flourish or even germinate in such an acidic environment. (Sorry for the analogies such as they are. I'm in the middle of some biology studies and have plant reproduction on the brain at the moment.) Maybe someday your anger toward her will fade or recede and you can help her find the assistance she obviously needs. I know you have tried before. If you keep trying, maybe the coming 16 years will be different.

Peace.
Posey