Please at least take a break from this guy and focus on yourself as much as you can for a while. Life is too short to let one man take you for granted like this and he certainly doesn't sound like he's worth it. He's causing you great physical and emotional harm. Ask yourself if you feel cherished. You should be cherished! You sound like a wonderful, sensitive person. Take time to write down on a piece of paper what your ideal mate would be like, no matter how far-fetched that may seem. When you are done, read what you wrote. The man of your dreams is what you deserve, and you should not be with an abusive loser who threatens you and destroys your self esteem. Please, please put yourself first and don't waste any more time on him. He needs to fix himself, but that's his responsibility, not yours. You deserve joy in your life... I hope you can get there soon.