I am hurting really bad. there just isn't any relief from it. *H* talked with W_I last night and apologized for whatever pain he caused. He knows I am hurting and knows that I don't want him anywhere near me. I came front, but didn't talk to him. He knew the switch. Said the whole atmosphere in the room changed.
I talked to our family Dr who we've been seeing for almost 20 yrs now. I never should have said anything. Now he sees *H* as some terrible person and I never wanted that...
I just keep blowing it. I don't want people to hate him. It's bad enough I don't like him and Amber hates him. But W_I wants to have this marriage work.
So does *H*.
The things he put me through are just way too much for me to deal with. S** and emotionally, psychologically and spiritually abuse really did destroy and kill something inside of us.
I think about other people who have been through so much more. Their abuse by their *H* put them in hospitals or nearly killed them and maybe what happened isn't all that bad, so I should just get over it...Besides, I am to fault just as much as he is. I did my share of hurtful things during that time too. So I guess I have not right to even complain or anything. Guess it's time to get over it all and stop whinning...
Crystal