i guess i'm not 100% sure what i need right now to be honest. if i even have a caseworker, it would be just a lot easier to arrange things myself i think. i was finally assertive enough with my therapist this morning to ask if it would be okay to see her twice a week for a bit, and she was completely okay with it. that made me feel better. and i did set up an appointment to go tour a day program place next week. which i guess is comprised of such things as: learning about your mental illness, learning about medications, help with assertiveness, anger, coping, etc. but supposedly also fun "creative" things. i think i am just longing for more human connection in a "safe" place, where people can relate, empathatize, or understand even.

the idea of being able to go to a residential, out of state program that targets specifically treatment-resistant bipolar seems almost like a dream, and i guess because it is - financially, for me i mean. so for now, i'm going to tour this place and keep working with my therapist.