the last time I saw my T before his vacay i was able to use some words/labels that i had not been able to before... and as i walked home i remember saying in my head "... you were a victim once but you don't have to be anymore..."

it sets you free... but people don't know what freedom actually is.. sad but true

there was a time when i resisted words like survivor. i pondered it a long time. i wasn't trapped wanting pity or excessive rescue or whatever, i was trapped in feeling so worthless and undeserving that i actually had trouble claiming that i was a victim in the first place. The word victim is treated like a dirty word sometimes, but if you cannot say you were victimized then you cannot move on to being a survivor.

now i know.. that applies to trauma but the logic can transfer over. Many, too many, people seem to feel unheard and seek real validation and empathy. They didn't get it as young kids and so it becomes a driving need that is nonverbal and deep. Seeking that small piece of acknowledgement, validation, empathy... becomes like a drink of water in the desert, but not quite enough water. Instead of finding a way out of the desert they become fixated on getting just a bit more water.

there is a gap in understanding and behaviour between that state and being free... the gap leaves us feeling terrified. It's a case of "the devil you know" in a way.

it's a big leap but people can do it... i think the biggest challenge is getting it to register on their radar even. i often feel like i am speaking in some foreign language whenever i bring it up