I am doing my best to hang in there and putting my trust and life in the hands of my pdocs and T's - but I don't know how much longer I can cope. I even bought myself a horse to have something else to focus on (I don't have kids, so he's my child) and that's probably the last straw I'm hanging on to.
This morning I thought of ECT - maybe it's what I've needed all along. Right now I'll do anything to make this pain, lonliness, helplessness, darkness... just go away