The odd thing is: as much as i fight and struggle with not being able to trust and get out of my shell. . .when i finally do trust and really "let go" with t and allow some healing. . .i feel RELIEVED of pain. Yeah, it feels weird and strange because it's new not to be full of discomfort. But at the same time, i notice that desparate NEED for help and comfort from t has reduced. Now that i've allowed myself to get some of that comfort, i'm not so starving for it. I feel stronger inside myself and not so needy. It's like "a little bit goes a long way." For me, the hardest part is just being able to be open and trust enough to let myself get what i need. Then i don't need it so bad anymore.