i kind of work with a scale & also fin's idea.

e.g., if pdoc is sitting on an 80 and he does something bad then he'll drop down, but not completely. which makes it easier for me to trust him again next time, because we only need to build up a little bit. and because he's maybe dropped down to 70, then i can still trust him with other things & build back up again.

re: evaluating your own strength... even if pdoc is on an 80 (which is high for me), i might consider telling him something, but first i also look at how much *i* can cope if he lets me down. it's kind of about making sure i'm a safe person first - ie, if pdoc isn't safe for one particular thing, making sure that i can provide my own safe harbour also. if i dont think i can handle it if pdoc lets me down, then i wont disclose something (or maybe i'll disclose it gradually so i can build up slowly).