I'm working on changing my emotions by acting opposite (per DBT workbook), and it has really been helping this week.

I got 2 job rejections. I felt ashamed and wanted to run. Instead, I approached the situation and wrote thank you emails. I thought about how proud of myself I was for trying despite anxiety.

I also felt angry. So I tried to think of the interviews as learning experiences. I imagined being grateful that I had any interviews in this economy, and realized that I really did feel some gratitude underneath.

Acting nice and grateful made me feel better. I felt competent, instead of like a prisoner to my feelings. I think it communicated to my scared inside parts that my feelings don't make me act; I can choose what to do. Normally I get so scared of being overwhelmed by feelings, so this was a big change!

Today I got a rude email from another student, asking a sarcastic question about my motives in a business deal. Being misunderstood when I have good intentions really triggers me, and I felt a rush of shame, powerlessness, and anger.

But I responded right away (instead of hiding) and answered politely. As I did, I thought of alternatives.
* They might not have meant to be mean (that fought the anger).
* I knew that my motives were nice and I didn't have to live up to their standards (that fought the shame).
* No matter what they say or do, I can tolerate it. I can use my skills to deal with it (that fought the powerlessness).

I faced the issue instead of hiding and feeling resentment. It made me feel so strong!

I'm going to try to keep going, although I was very skeptical of this method before! It seemed fake. I don't want to sell out my principles, but I can try to communicate effectively and avoid giving in to my feelings. Fingers crossed!