Tamzin, you belong here just as much as I do. I think you need to use help wherever you find it. I totally understand how the different rooms help you - I feel the same. Somehow they help me to put into words how I am feeling, where I am.
Having said that, I'm sorry you feel like you are falling apart. It's a bad place to be. You don't have to have a reason for feeling that way, and you certainly don't need to justify it. Feelings are feelings. But I do need to tell you that despite your feelings, I certainly don't feel that you are gate crashing here. You have given so much support to so many of us. Maybe it is just your time to let us try to support you.
Can you think of anything you can do taht will make you feel a bit better - or if not, anythign you can do which will pass the time? I was going to have a bath but I think I am just going to go to bed, read some more of my current book (Anne MacCaffrey, if anyone is interested!) and then try to catch up someon my backlog of sleep. Please keep coming back here.
Caroline