So I suffer from really bad depression. I SI, and wound up with 14 stitches recently, but since then I had no urge to cut or anything.
These last few days I have been in a wonderful mood. That is not normal for me. I am not very social and I hate going places by myself, but lately I have been going out and talking to everyone, making friends and just hanging out with strangers. I dont drink, but I got wasted with some random guy I met, and I kissed (almost went a lot further) with this guy and another guy. I dont even know them. That is not like me ( I am married) I am currently talking to another guy. I am making plans to meet up with him and I really really wanna hook up with him. I have this crazy urge to. I dont know why. I smoke a lot more when im in moods like this. I have been great about not self injuring but today when I saw the blade they used to cut out the stitches I have had some crazy urges to cut. Insane urges to cut. I cant stop spending money. It is money I need. Why cant I stop spending it? Tonight it got really weird. I was outside smoking and I just couldnt stop the thoughts in my head. I was looking at all the lights that lit the walkway behind my house and I got super angry. I mean it sent me into a rage and I wanted to take a baseball bat to all of the lights. I just kept telling myself that the lights were a lie. They shouldnt be there. I dont know. it doesnt make sense, but it made sense then. I saw this lady walking in a really short skirt and just dressed really skimpy, usually I think to myself, wow, go put something else on, but this time I called her out. I told ehr she was not as hot as she thought she was and that she needed to change her clothes because she looks like a effin hooker. Telling her I wish she thought better of herself and all this other stuff. I would NEVER do that normally. Not ever.
I saw my doc today and she was happy to see me so happy but i think she is worried it is another manic episode. I thought I was fine. Maybe it was just me being happy for once but then tonight happened, and it got me thinking about what I had been doing this last week, and its just not normal for me.

I am sorry this is long, but I just want to be as thurough as possible so maybe someone can tell me if this is a manic episode adn should I see my doc first thing monday morning? I am scared that I am like this right now. its not me. Someone help me out please.