*possible trigger*

((((((((Sundog)))))))))

I think I got into this relationship during one of my depressive episodes. I think I have a personality disorder that makes me "clingy" and search for someone who will take care of me. When I met my now husband I was in the middle of divorcing my 2nd. When I met my 2nd husband I was separated from my 1st. Before that, I lived with friends or my parents.

I have never been by myself, I have always had someone there to take care of me financially. As far as being emotionally supportive, none of them were. If I were to be on my own I would be homeless, depressed and possibly suicidal.

I have thought about ending this relationship but then I have nowhere to go. After being together so long (14 years) my kids think of him as their dad, our finances are tied together and it would almost be impossible to do with me being unemployed and unable to work. I'm stuck!

I do love my husband but it's more of a friendship than intimate. We really don't have anything in common, he bores me to death and I don't get the emotional support I need from him.

I long to have a meaningful relationship with someone who is supportive, loving, caring and who understands me. I've wanted that all my life but I keep going around in the same circles.

Maybe in my next life things will be better......