>>My son's girlfriend has been sleeping all day long. As far as I know she hasn't been to work in 5 days. I don't think she still has a job. They can't afford food but they can have her go fet tatoos. She is paying for his too.

I'm guessing Dr. Phil would say KICK THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE! You are really not only hurting yourself, but you are also doing them a disservice... what happens when you are no longer able to take care of them? They have to learn how to be adults, how to take care of themselves, budget their money. This situation is hurting them as much as it is hurting you.

I think Dr. Phil wouldn't say kick them to the curb with no warning... usually he advocates having a talk with them, setting a plan, and making sure they know you are serious. Tell them they have to get out, and they have three months to do it. Help them during those three months to plan, help them find a place, help them budget... and at the end of the three months THEY ARE OUT!!!

I feel so bad that you fear they won't like you any more... but is that any worse then you spending every day in such misery and not liking yourself for it? Not to mention how resentful you are of them.

I would hope that while they might grump about having to move out that once it happens they would realize it is for the best and be on good terms with you again. Successfully "setting up house" on their own should give them a sense of responsibility that feels good. If they continue to be ungrateful and angry, you will have to decide which is worse and where to draw the line.

I can say that seeming they are not only ungrateful for what you do, but also that they feel "entitled" to it, i.e. you "owe" it to them and if you don't do it you are being "mean" but anyone of reason will know otherwise, and having them grow up with that sense of entitlement is not healthy and does not bode well for their future.

Best of luck wisewoman, I hope you can find a solution to this and find some peace for yourself.

At least we here appreciate you and everything you do for us.

{{{{{{wisewoman}}}}}}