I feel sad all the time I have moments where I feel I can cope and I am being silly but most time I just feel so sad and dreadfully unhappy. I have no reason to feel like this and worst of all I keep breaking down in tears. I feel like I am hanging onto my sanity if i have any left by my fingertips. I dont know what to do. I went to see a therapist yesterday my first appointment for years. She asked me a number of questions and while I answered her sometimes she cut me short to ask other questions and every once in while she stopped me and said excuse me while she used the mouse to click back unto my name of the computer. She said she could not help me but that she would be speaking to the head of her department and she would be able to decide what treatment they would be able to offer me. But as she is not seeing the head until end of next week all she can say is that they will contact me as soon as possible. I am forcing myself to go to work, last week I was ill but still went in which so have ended up with the flu caught from a client I visit untop of that they had me covering a job where my feet get soaking wet every day no one wants to do the job because no one wants to get wet everyday but because I come across as very patient and caring and calm I hve to cover the job. All the other people that hv gone there grumbled at the people and they manage to get off the job because the people said not to send them. I told them the same thing all the other carers have told them but I did it quietly and calmly but to be honest I am bloody fed up of being soaking wet every day. Its not helping that its been raining all the time and I am getting wet all the time its just so damp. I am aching all over this morning and feel like **** (sorry) I feel awful and if I am feeling like this on monday I am going to phone in sick which I know will anger my senior worker but I rarely take time off. I used to enjoy my work but this year depression had me in this dark pit and I cant climb out. I am so sick of crying and feeling like I am screaming inside. This sites helps me as each morning when I get up and am feeling really bad I come on to read how others are feeling and how they cope I usually end up in more tears but sometimes it just helps knowing that a lot of us have this happening to us. WHAT WE NEED IS A CURE so where is it? Oh and I wasn't part of the cool crowd either but got picked on a lot because although I was shy if anyone tried to bully me I always stood my ground not because I was brave but because my mother made my life hell at home and she had always told me that if anyone picks on me at school and I came home crying she'd beat the hell out of me for not sticking up for myself. Its didn't help that I was always the most trendy child in school we were poor but my mother made our school uniform in the school colours only not regulationg style she made then in what ever was the fashion trend. Although we were dirt poor we looked better off than the better off children. So boy that didnt exactly make us very popular at school.