i am agreeing with Belle all things take time and instant gratification is something many people look for only to be disappointed and lonely afterwards

our megan looks for instant gratification and then cries after getting it because she realises that it is empty gratification and her need is for true feeling which is a thing she can not feel she is almost immune to it so to her physical gratification is a thing that substitutes for emotional feelings

i certainly do not intend to imply that you are the same i just wanted to tell you how she is which is devoid emotionally with a physical desire only it stops her having to invest emotionally

i think you invest emotionally much more than phsyically which is so hard on you and you are fighting it so much but are in a situation that is tormenting you because in this case you do not receive an emotional response in return which is rejection of you physically a rejection of you emotionally a problem on both fronts

i dont know what i would do so i can not judge for you what you should do megan is bent out of shape in all areas so i can only imagine what you are feeling the anxiety and fear of being faced with a person you have feelings for rejecting you in every way must be heart breaking

i am here for you if you wish to contact me i am available for you

Bridie