Jackie, You might be in a place that I was in (well similar) when I began recalling and accepting some of the childhood abuses. I couldn't get past the "why" to heal. I've been able to do that for the most part. I can still get caught up in it with a new issue, but generally move past it much more quickly than before.

Anyhow, the only way I was able to move past that was to ACCEPT that I might not ever know, or at least any time soon, the answer to those "why" questions. I had to move past that to begin healing with what IS/WAS. I realize now that it was a form of evading for me.

I'm not saying that's the case with you. However, maybe trying to figure out the reason why the "why" question is so important for you and how you might move past that to healing is what you might talk with t about? With me, I had to realize that some things just are, and that was so hard. It was easier to question why than accept it just is, then work on it. ugh. it really gets to me thinking about it this deep again. it's huge. i know that pain.

I consider myself lucky that I don't, and probably never can, understand those "whys". It says to me that I'm not capable of thinking like those people do. Somewhere in here, that's such a comfort to me.

I wish you well on this. I was stuck in the "why" for years. It took t to point this out to me to even know that. only then could i attempt to move past it.

good luck hon.

kd