i noticed how "tired" you were in your post. gosh i can relate to that when i am depressed! it seems you have an awful lot on your plate as many of us do. the person who needs the most kind and caring teatment is you! please don't forget to be kind to yourself. no one can do that better than you. i know it's hard sometimes to remember to do that but it helps me to do it. i hope this gentle reminder will help you too. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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