and what is patriarchy even? its kind of unreal seeming, like it comes from something else, not real, like why did I end up here, it is a long walk to anywhere, thats good, just drifting off, what does it mean, who is saying this, is it simply fate? I highly doubt that, suspicious, so the banging, is it all supposed to mean something, to trigger something, sometimes I've been walking and theres wierd clapping, theres signs all over the street, what exactly is going on out there, i have no idea, and you begin to reckon maybe what they've all been simply hiding in some kind of attempt to do something, but what does it even matter, i mean i am a man myself, i guess, i wouldn't really say that, i have a penis but i've always had the mind of a woman, but i mean its kind of just there, coming out sometimes, because of just the way which is like a tide,the universal mind i guess is what i mean and like one mind, a leaf as myself on that tide, for sure sometimes, you find the place of which there are billions and every spot is really a place and you see, and it doesn't matter because its yourself rushing against yourself, and yeah... i mean i would reckon its a wierd kind of existence myself, just appearing suddenly, among all this which is dances, signals and stuff, the schizophrenia is like I have no idea what thats supposed to be, or just something so ridiculous because you bring that up in your mind and its just there, like when you out among nature, the things that happen around you its like a dream, because its so inconcievable from here, but I think about how it used to be, really its just this place that I live geographically, which makes things appear a certain way, when if i was somewhere else it reflects back so much clearer, but i mean it occured to me and it started to come back, no i'm just here, and i guess i've become a witch of some kind, i think thats funny, life is interesting, just on the first breaking of the moment passing around the pine needles from the branch over the record player i enjoy looking out and wondering and feeling what i feel in the end its ridiculous its a distraction but everything is the self, as a journey into self and all there is, somehow i also begin to see and wonder why im here, and how much is genuinely myself and how much comes from beyond, but i guess thats the whole thing, i'de rather be alone who could bare to put that up to the light, maybe in doing it the truth would spring up everywhere for that is truly the way it is, all of this we have been saying maybe thats just something that looks like the way it is, but could it ever really be different, even something different would have been the same, love is like that, and the way it is, the reflections and shamanism maybe, the language of the night and what is speaking to you, even deeper inside and further out