Hi guy,

It took me nearly 20 years to feel anything about my mothers death. I thought I was just well adjusted and because she was a woman of faith that it was her passing from the extreme pain of her life to a better place. But eventually I realized I not only missed her, but that there were all sorts of feelings of loss that I wasn't dealing with.

I think we all have our own time frame and process of dealing with things. There are lots of reasons one might not feel about loss. It's good that you look at it. That you realize that it has affected your ability to empathize with others.

Not showing emotion can be cultural, taught by family or friends. It is hard to be vulnerable with a whole crowd of people, even in a church. Grief takes what it takes to get through, it's the healing of our losses. When I asked myself what I 'd lost, rather than what they lost, the process started for me. I thought it was selfish to feel like I was the one who got the raw end of the deal cause after all it was their life and it happened to them.

I hope you find what you need to feel empathy not because you "should" but because it makes life very special and is a good thing...