THE WEEK FROM H3LL...

i just don't understand anymore. now the whole "moving into my grandma's" thing has become this big S**T between my parents and my dad's five siblings. and it all comes back to them yelling at me for asking my aunts and uncles what they thought of the situation...

and i've already had to bury two baby kittens this week. now i have to bury three more tomorrow and most likely the most cat in the morning...

and my uncle went off on me today. he said that the only way i'll ever get better is if i do an 'in-patient' treatment program; that i'll never get better without it. and that i've created a 'fantasy world' that i live in, cuz all i do is talk about my cats. F- YOU!!! what the h do you know about my situation?! my cats are the only positive thing i have in my life right now! Excuse me for not wanting to talk about this crap 24/7. and who gave you the right to tell me what YOU THINK would work for me and that nothing else ever would...

i'm holding onto life by ONE dang thread. and i pray everyday that i'll find some way to keep on doing that. oh man, there are plently of times when i just want to let go and wish like heck i could. everyone makes it that much harder for me. i sat in the bathroom crying a couple days ago, just saying, "God, i need someone or something". give me one dang reason why my life is worth so much f-ing pain...

i'm a fighter - i just don't have any fight left in me..........

_____________________________________________________________________________

song of the night:
"Take me away, take me away
Take me away you put me here to do it God
Take me away you gotta see me through it God
Take me away need you to do it right now"