Yes, I hear you and completely understand. I hate having my information available to anyone at these various organizations when I've needed help and to answer to them when they are such private things. It actually makes me physically sick with anxiety and difficult to control at times. Not an easy trade-off asking for help.

I dread the mail as well. It took some getting used to learning the rules, regs, terminology, and I have learned to ask a lot of questions to get to know the system to 1. not get lost in it and 2. not get shorted by it either when something should be covered and wasn't.

I have learned that whether mail from a government organization, or an insurance (government or private), I cannot hide from it or delay it; I must look at it immediately even as much as I dread it. As everything in both systems takes time to resolve if there is a problem. It causes more issues not to act promptly.

If need help, there is nothing wrong in asking for it. At what cost, everyone has to determine for themselves. For me, if it means the difference in not getting the medical care I need or not, I will ask even if it means sacrificing my privacy or the risk of embarassment. My health is too important even over my anxiety because if I don't have my health, I don't have anything.

I'm glad you are finding peace being out of the system now and not having to rely upon it. I know this is a relief. I have qualified for Medicaid at one point in the past, but only SSDI & DELL now for some time and so I still have to answer for things to have it. I can't survive w/o it right now so I have to keep my anxiety at bay in the meantime for the dependency.

I do understand your frustration. In the meantime, I hope your health is improved and you are doing really well. Will be thinking of you and sending you the very best of wishes.