Phoenix, you can do this. You will rise again. You will get help again and like someone else said here, you will seek and find the relationship that suits who you are and meets your needs.

Gr3tta is so right you won't see whtat those ones see because you are not on that dark side of the viewing fence.

Phoenix your words meet my mind and cause me to strengthen my resolve to find get the resolution/healing/recovery I work for and know I deserve with the help of therapy and supports.

Returning to therapy is hard. You've done really well. You'll do well again. Be gentle with you.