I hope you are feeling somewhat better.
While I don't have the answers, nor the experience, I am here for you to vent and talk to at any time. I have been in a place similar to your sister, so I do understand the urge to want it to all end. Please don't hold yourself responsible - you did everything you could, but ultimately you need to understand that she was ill, and it was all out of your hands xxx
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"I'd rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller"
Current dx: Bipolar Disorder Unspecified
Current Meds: Epitec (Lamotrigine) 300mg, Solian 50mg, Seroquel 25mg PRN, Metformin 500mg, Klonopin prn
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