Life has been hectic lately. Some days are good, some days are bad, and some days I wonder what the hell is going on. Me and the boyfriend broke up, I'm still using, and just found out recently that my sister has HIV, which she contracted through sharing needles with people. I haven't posted much lately because I'm ashamed, really. I was just using once or twice a week but since Justin and me broke up and I found out about my sister, I've started smoking and snorting dope like it's nothing everyday. I haven't been to an NA meeting or my IOP aftercare group in over a week and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry myself into nothingness.

So tired of this life right now. They say things have to get worse before they get better sometimes. Well, it's about at that worst place. Time to start getting better.

Thank you for being concerned, Rayna. ((((( Rayna ))))) You're a beautiful soul. I really do look up to you.