I'm an 11 years sober AA member as well as being a Beeper and it was flogged into me in early sobriety to "Fake it til you make it". There is a lot of wisdom in AA but this is not it!! lol

Alki's including me are famous for being ******** artists - like they says, "How do you know an alki's lying - see their lips move". It hopefully doesn't apply so much to sober ones!! lol

But my point is that for us, rigorous honesty in thought and deed is the only way. Pretending to be something I am not or telling myself that I'm something I'm not is a sure fire path to failure. It was my lifetime strategy when I was a blackout drunk for 18 years.

I like what midnight soul said about venting on paper or on the PC. I have done it relentlessly and endlessly - and I always tell other women I am helping in AA (and this applies to Beepers too) just grab that used envelope if you feel like your head is going to ecplode and quickly write it down. If you can get stuff down like that you are likely to get some instant relief and then if you feel you need to, you can then share it with a trusted friend or therapist. Vent vent vent.